DATE:            November 9, 2016

TO:                 Carla Hayden, Librarian of Congress

FROM:           David Mao, Deputy Librarian of Congress

SUBJECT:      Hiring Criteria for Register of Copyrights

As you requested, following are recommended factors to consider when hiring the next Register of Copyrights.  Obviously, these are only suggestions as your power is absolute.

1. Be a kissass.
2. Have no original thought.
3. Be a kissass.
4. Speak to no one but your absoluteness.
5. Have excellent skills at making change in the LOC gift shop.
6. Demand even more deposit copies under compulsory licenses that permit free copying by our allies.
7. Know her/his place under your absoluteness.
8. Be a kissass.
9. Not look too hard for the owner of orphan works.
10. Support your brilliant interpretation of Section 115 to give our allies a free license, no liability and hiding in plain sight!  That is almost as brilliant as your interpretation of Section 108 to turn the LOC into a major feeder of Bit Torrent sites!  Genius!

Separately, we should continue to quote your brilliant Congressional testimony where you say that the the Library supports “creators”.  We know you meant YouTubers! Brava oh absolute one!  Fooled them again with your genius!

You may also be interested in the slides from my lunch time talk, “How to Sell the Library:  Tips for the Sovereignly  Immune” at which I will discuss including the Library’s mandatory deposit copies in Google’s scanning project, especially the sound recordings and movies!  Justice for Mickey at last!