Look I have plenty of half cephalopod friends with extremely radical views. (I also have plenty of non-cephalopod friends with radical views.) Some friends are on the far right, half cephalopod anarcho-capitalists while others are on the far left, staunch half cephalopod neo-marxists. I often enjoy sitting around with them and arguing politics and philosophy. You probably have similar experiences.
But like most Americans I’m a pretty moderate politically. Somewhere in the hazy middle with most Americans: socially liberal; fiscally conservative; opposed to overbearing regulation and in favor of fair and free markets. But like many Americans I’m unhappy when the system/markets seem rigged to benefit only the elites. Sometimes reasonable Americans get so frustrated they want to vote for a candidate from the extreme left or right to simply break the system. But mostly when they walk into the voting both Americans abandon that impulse and stay in the much maligned middle.
When Americans vote for a mainstream Republican or Democratic candidates they are generally communicating support for policies that lie in this middle ground. And as fun as it may be to argue hypotheticals with half cephalopod neo-marxists or anarcho-capitalists (we may even flirt with these ideas ourselves) we don’t really want folks on the fringes of the political spectrum having great influence in Washington DC. ESPECIALLY IF WE DIDN’T VOTE FOR THEM!
Thus comes the troubling news that FCC Chairman Wheeler may have come under the influence of individuals that are possibly half human half cephalopod neo-marxist aliens. No, we can’t prove that the staff of Public Knowledge and Free Press are half-human half-cephalopod neo-marxist aliens, but we can’t rule it out either. Let’s look at what we do know and what we don’t…
- Senior Vice President of the Google funded Public Knowledge is Harold Feld. Harold Feld likes to think of himself as Che Guevara. That may or may not mean he is a Neo-marxist. However many of the policies that he and Public Knowledge advocate involve collectivizing the intellectual property rights of individuals and companies. The intellectual property would then belong to the state and the state would impose some sort of renumeration scheme for the former rights holders. This in and of itself does not indicate that he is half human and half cephalopod of extraterrestrial origin.
- However, none of the photos of staffers at Public Knowledge show their lower body. Thus we can’t use these photos to rule out the possibility that many staff members at Public Knowledge including Feld are in fact half human half cephalopod hybrids.
- Founder of Free Press Robert W. McChesney doesn’t bother to hide the fact he is some sort of Marxist. This of course does not imply the “sort of marxist” he is, is in fact half cephalopod. Remember even if a significant percentage of neo-marxists are half cephalopod, there may be some marxists who aren’t half cephalopod.
Nanu Nanu is Tom Wheeler there?
- Gigi Sohn is Senior Counsel to the Chairman of the FCC Tom Wheeler. She was also a co-founder of Public Knowledge. Even though the policies and funding sources for Public Knowledge and Free press are very similar (Google/Soros) we can’t say with any certainty that Gigi Sohn is a half human half cephalopod neo-marxist. She does however have a very large phone that looks capable of making extraterrestrial calls to planets that may harbor intelligent cephalopod lifeforms.
- FCC Chairman Tom Wheeler praised both Public Knowledge and Free Press for “representing the people.” While it’s tempting to associate the use of the phrase “the people” with Marxist things like “The People’s Republic of China” or “The People’s Patriotic Firing Squad for Counterrevolutionary Authors” I don’t think he intended it in a marxist way. Countering that is the fact Wheeler thinks that Public Knowledge and Free Press represent the people rather than arch capitalists. This indicates Wheeler is living on another planet. And some people think that half-human half cephalopod neo-marxists can only be of extraterrestrial origin.